So it's been three months or so since the Gods of convenience and boredom forced my hand at weight loss blogging.
And what a three months it's been! All the times. The memories. The tears in the darkness.
But enough of my historical banter.
I'm not sure what has prompted it* but this week I am steeling myself for seven days of hardcore dieting. I laugh in the face of balanced dieting and dietary fibre. It's all soup and Subway this week. Just call me Jarrod and hate my guts until eventually, and not before time, they pull from the advertising campaign. Can you imagine that fat turd dancing on the beach with a Subway in his hand? Brr....
Anyway here's some facts:
I have in the past three months of not dieting lost three kilos. I put this down exclusively to poverty and laziness. 'I'll just butter this toast. Wait that's not toast. That's stiff bread. And i have no butter.'
At the rate of three kilos a month by the age of 55 i will weigh 4 kilos.
Australia is the largest island in the world.
Ok so i guess i should weigh in now but i have no scales. But i'll do it tomorrow at my mummies, and then once the week is up we will see if soup and subway has aided my weightloss. I will also be posting pictures of my malnourished, yellow-tinged face so you can help me diagnose which nutrients and vitamins i need to quickly consume to avoid possible kidney failure and death.
Maybe i'll cook some vegetable stir-fry too. I'm a little worried. my life expectancy can't be more than 40 or so years as it is...
*(recent facebook photos where i still look like a fatty boombah)
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